“Trying” can subconsciously keep a person stuck rather than moving into real action, especially when viewed through the Biology of Trauma lens. This approach as explained by Dr. Aimie Apigian focuses on how unresolved trauma patterns keep the body in survival states, limiting one’s ability to heal, act, or feel empowered.
To explain, I will be sharing examples and explanations using the lens of Biology of Trauma that incorporates the cellular biology of the body, the polyvagal theory and somatic experiencing principles altogether that create patterns in human beings and their behaviors – as a pathway for healing unresolved trauma and stress.
Why “Trying” Keeps You Stuck
1. “Trying” is an intention, not action-oriented.
- Trauma recovery is not intellectual, it is somatic. Healing happens through the body’s felt experiences.
- “Trying” keeps people analyzing, planning, overthinking, not acting.
2. “Trying” Reflects a State of Freeze or Shutdown
- Repeatedly saying or thinking about “trying” without movement may reflect a freeze response (dorsal vagal state) or fawning pattern.
- This is the nervous system saying “I’ll think about it, but it is not safe to act.”
- It is mobilization without completion, a stuck energy loop.
You could sound or look like you’re engaged (trying), but your body isn’t moving toward resolution or change. Any incident that creates a trauma response from an event disconnects the mind from the body. Trying helps the body and nervous system stay in a mode of disconnect by staying in the head, and yet falsely assures one that they are moving forward in the task.
3. “Trying” Reinforces Powerlessness
- “I am trying” is expressly and implicitly an affirmation from the subconscious that can be a substitute for “I am not capable yet” or “there is something wrong with me.”
- Such thoughts and patterns over years and a lifetime of coping actually feed the trauma-driven identity of helplessness or inadequacy.
- Trauma response shapes the nervous system for being hypervigilant for any real or perceived danger in the thoughts/mind and nervous system stays on alert, and eventually creates more and more self-doubt. Thus, “trying” mirrors that pattern of uncertainty.
If the nervous system doesn’t feel safe internally, it will not allow action or forward movement, so you keep “trying” instead of doing.
4. Somatic Safety Is the Prerequisite for Action
- “Trying” often comes before true safety is established in the nervous system.
- The Biology of Trauma approach focuses on accessing inner safety by regulating the nervous system first – breathwork, somatic tools, vagus nerve toning.
- Once safety is felt inside the body, can a movement or action be taken literally. And it is done with a free will and choice, not force.
Therefore, when your body feels safe, “trying” shifts into a desired and agreeable action step.
How we can use or reframe with helpful words to indicate a positive, kind shift for the brain to move from “Trying” → “Being in Action”
Instead of expressing out loud or internally “I am trying to exercise more” say “I just did 10 minutes of stretching today.”
Instead of “I am trying to heal my trauma response to rejection” say “Today, I practiced a somatic exercise designed for feeling ‘left out’ and noticed my breath soften and shoulders relax and let go of its tightness.”
Summary
| “Trying” can imply the following messages… | The Biology of Trauma explains it as… |
| Mental Effort | Disconnection from the body |
| Hesitation | Freeze State |
| Lack of Clarity | Nervous System Dysregulation |
| Effort Without Results | Trauma Energy Loop |
Step into changing your dialogue from a place of creating internal safety when unable to see external shifts or change in behaviors, and outcomes that necessitate some form of new action.
Healing comes when we shift from only a mental effort to embodied action – tiny, regulated steps that when supported with compassion and presence are the key to move the nervous system toward safety and connection.
Recent Comments